The Power of Red Lipstick & The Alpha Female
On the Power of Red Lipstick...
Have you ever looked at a woman rocking a red lip and thought WOW, i wish i could rock that, i could NEVER...
Well, please let me introduce myself and a slightly new wave of thinking that revolves around The Power of Posture and Red Lipstick.
Posture equals Power.
I came up with this slogan for myself when i decided that I was going to step out of the fog of lost souls and be MYSELF again. I decided that if life is a dream and you can create your own reality my avatar was going to be labelled The ALPHA FEMALE. I like the way yassssss BITCH feels gliding off my tongue, but ultimately, "boss bitch" just didn't feel like the label i wanted or needed to attach to myself during my rebirth.
The year was 2014 and I was slowly crawling out of a deep depression that was firmly entrenching itself in my psyche as undiagnosed PTSD. I had endured several gruelling years of emotional abuse at the hands of a partner who was not even fully aware of the effects of his manipulative and extremely toxic, narcissistic behavior. Life is like a river, I thought, while standing on the platform of the Metro North train station on a grey morning contemplating the trash and water ripples on the Hudson.
Then, like a flash, the thought:
I need to put on some red lipstick ASAP.
I can't quite pinpoint when my positive relationship with red lipstick began. Growing up an 80s baby i originally associated red lipstick with blue eyeshadow, clouds of Aquanet, feathered hair and shoulder pads. It just didn't even apply to my personal aesthetic. Enter the 90s and my teenage years. I believe to this day that one of the freshest, most iconic looks of the 90s was the Fly Girl rocking a red lip, white tee, and denim. However, I did not participate in wearing red lips because my heart belonged to yet another icon of the 90s, Revlon's Super Lustrous Lipstick in Coffee Bean. Ah, Coffee Bean, the great ethnic equalizer. The shade worked on EVERYone from Meredith the straight haired strawberry blonde with freckled skin and pink undertones to Megan with the crown of red tresses and yellow undertones, to myself, Mia (my nickname in 8th grade..that is a whole other blog post!) with my long, black curly hair and olive skin.
Ultimately, I stayed away from red lipstick because I ALWAYS THOUGHT my lips were TOO BIG for red lipstick. As an adult I was able to identify that I was subscribing to the OTHER standard of beauty. The standard that said: straighten your hair, lighten your hair, dilute all the things that make you a beautiful, unique, Dominican woman because to get places in life you need to be WHITE. I spent most of my young life assimilating until one day i just DIDN'T. One day I decided that I looked amazing in red lipstick, I even started collecting red lipsticks in different shades, textures, and price points. One of my favorite reds was a Walgreens find: Cherry Picker from Wet & Wild for $3.99. Just as gorgeous and inspiring is my $52 Guerlain Rouge with actual crushed rubies inside.
As I gathered strength from my emerging SELF MADE identity, I chose to display my confidence via clothing that outlined my curves (my hips AND my scoliosis) and the ever present red lips. No matter how my life was playing itself out, as a total shitshow or a sunny daydream, once i put on those red lips i KNEW i could face any challenge or opportunity that arose in my world. Much like the beloved Windex from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, I have been on a mission to spread the power of the red lip to ALL. Depression, Divorce, or Donuts, whatever has you down, just swipe on some red and let the energy flow through you. If I was Dear Abby I would answer half the letters with "Just put on some red lipstick".
Although I started wearing red lipstick as a fashion statement, ultimately, it became an in your face display of me reclaiming my personal power. I'll never forget what made me want to wear red as an act of DEFIANCE, to claim the color as a symbol of the Alpha Female. My aforementioned abusive partner used intimidation to try to control me and keep me weak. He mentioned one day that red lipstick was "very aggressive". I was furious that he would comment on my makeup choices, especially something that made me so happy. But it was also a light bulb moment. I knew if it bothered him enough to mention it, to dissuade me from rocking it, i KNEW it was the right choice.
The year is now 2018 and I still reach for my red lips when I want to project my most self-assured persona. I feel that my red lips make people look at me like, wow, i wish i could be like her....
Have you ever looked at a woman rocking a red lip and thought WOW, i wish i could rock that, i could NEVER...
Well, please let me introduce myself and a slightly new wave of thinking that revolves around The Power of Posture and Red Lipstick.
Posture equals Power.
I came up with this slogan for myself when i decided that I was going to step out of the fog of lost souls and be MYSELF again. I decided that if life is a dream and you can create your own reality my avatar was going to be labelled The ALPHA FEMALE. I like the way yassssss BITCH feels gliding off my tongue, but ultimately, "boss bitch" just didn't feel like the label i wanted or needed to attach to myself during my rebirth.
The year was 2014 and I was slowly crawling out of a deep depression that was firmly entrenching itself in my psyche as undiagnosed PTSD. I had endured several gruelling years of emotional abuse at the hands of a partner who was not even fully aware of the effects of his manipulative and extremely toxic, narcissistic behavior. Life is like a river, I thought, while standing on the platform of the Metro North train station on a grey morning contemplating the trash and water ripples on the Hudson.
Then, like a flash, the thought:
I need to put on some red lipstick ASAP.
I can't quite pinpoint when my positive relationship with red lipstick began. Growing up an 80s baby i originally associated red lipstick with blue eyeshadow, clouds of Aquanet, feathered hair and shoulder pads. It just didn't even apply to my personal aesthetic. Enter the 90s and my teenage years. I believe to this day that one of the freshest, most iconic looks of the 90s was the Fly Girl rocking a red lip, white tee, and denim. However, I did not participate in wearing red lips because my heart belonged to yet another icon of the 90s, Revlon's Super Lustrous Lipstick in Coffee Bean. Ah, Coffee Bean, the great ethnic equalizer. The shade worked on EVERYone from Meredith the straight haired strawberry blonde with freckled skin and pink undertones to Megan with the crown of red tresses and yellow undertones, to myself, Mia (my nickname in 8th grade..that is a whole other blog post!) with my long, black curly hair and olive skin.
Ultimately, I stayed away from red lipstick because I ALWAYS THOUGHT my lips were TOO BIG for red lipstick. As an adult I was able to identify that I was subscribing to the OTHER standard of beauty. The standard that said: straighten your hair, lighten your hair, dilute all the things that make you a beautiful, unique, Dominican woman because to get places in life you need to be WHITE. I spent most of my young life assimilating until one day i just DIDN'T. One day I decided that I looked amazing in red lipstick, I even started collecting red lipsticks in different shades, textures, and price points. One of my favorite reds was a Walgreens find: Cherry Picker from Wet & Wild for $3.99. Just as gorgeous and inspiring is my $52 Guerlain Rouge with actual crushed rubies inside.
As I gathered strength from my emerging SELF MADE identity, I chose to display my confidence via clothing that outlined my curves (my hips AND my scoliosis) and the ever present red lips. No matter how my life was playing itself out, as a total shitshow or a sunny daydream, once i put on those red lips i KNEW i could face any challenge or opportunity that arose in my world. Much like the beloved Windex from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, I have been on a mission to spread the power of the red lip to ALL. Depression, Divorce, or Donuts, whatever has you down, just swipe on some red and let the energy flow through you. If I was Dear Abby I would answer half the letters with "Just put on some red lipstick".
Although I started wearing red lipstick as a fashion statement, ultimately, it became an in your face display of me reclaiming my personal power. I'll never forget what made me want to wear red as an act of DEFIANCE, to claim the color as a symbol of the Alpha Female. My aforementioned abusive partner used intimidation to try to control me and keep me weak. He mentioned one day that red lipstick was "very aggressive". I was furious that he would comment on my makeup choices, especially something that made me so happy. But it was also a light bulb moment. I knew if it bothered him enough to mention it, to dissuade me from rocking it, i KNEW it was the right choice.
The year is now 2018 and I still reach for my red lips when I want to project my most self-assured persona. I feel that my red lips make people look at me like, wow, i wish i could be like her....
 |
| Posture Equals Power September 2015 |
Comments
Post a Comment