My Guttural Reaction to Losing My Respect for Nasir Jones: Two Takes
A few months after Kelis broke her devastating news of the truth of her past life with Nas, I still felt angry and duped by my once beloved Baesus. His utter silence in the wake of the allegations against him made me even more distrustful of him and cemented Kelis' truth even further. She had pulled back the veil on one of the few untarnished rap gods we had left.
Before I go any further, I must stress how important hip hop is to my life; how a once shunned and marginalized art now shapes society as a whole, it's culture and economics, at home and worldwide. I believe hip hop will continue to foment healthy cultural exchange and political expression worldwide for decades to come, even as it changes form, from N.W.A to Kendrick. It will be one of the mediums used to build a future that has a truly inclusive society. We cannot have the prophets not practice what they preach, when they claim to kick KNOWLEDGE because it will undermine the movement and it's scions.
Every other day we have rappers (dead or alive) exposed for their real life misogyny along with various other types of shitty, inexcusable behavior. To hear Lil' Kim earlier this year so breezily confirm the tale of Biggie coming after her with a gun in a jealous rage is not fucking cool, but he's no longer with us so we have to leave her to choose to preserve his Big Poppa legacy untarnished, I chose not to judge her, but the way she brushed it off, it truly gave me pause. Big Pun's wife, same. The ones we hail as great, turns out in private, pistol whipping ain't a thing. Kelis was incredibly brave to blow up the spot. You can't change the past but at least own it. Nas is still very alive and able to make reparations both financial and emotional. Don't continue to lie after you get put on blast. Don't wait SIX months to reply with lies and claiming nearly zero accountability, shamelessly shading Kelis like a sad little abusive behind the scenes bitch.
Ultimately this is why I'm so angry at The Don, why I feel he truly played himself with his behavior. It's the equivalent to Tupac going to jail for alleged rape but yet he gave us Keep Ya Head Up, it seemed incongruous then and still doesn't make sense now. Realize real lies though, am I right?? In the same vein, you can't give me "Black Girl Lost", "Daughters", "Hero", "I Can"!!! to choose just a few, have me building on your wisdom, and then BAM! it was all a lie. You write it then you live it? Nah Nas, you just wrote it down, and then shitted on it. Nas as an artist always made me feel so hopeful and safe. I never really took into account his personal life, especially his drama with Kelis, the music is just too fire and classic, I've listened to him on a regular basis for over 20 years, I own all of his albums, even Nastradamus, and some of them twice, hard copy and and digital versions. I have lived and breathed Nas for 22 of my 38 years on this earth. To have my icon knocked off his pedestal so abruptly and tragically- I mean domestic violence Nas??? YOU dog? It has taken me months to recover and even listen to his music again, cause I can't cosign his front of enlightened tragic figure, preaching math and all that shit when you are not even a parent to your son. But yet you pose with your father for a Gap ad, making us all praise you for being such a shining example of family and carrying on tradition.
These rappers are sometimes parental and educational substitutes for us. We look to their rhymes for inspiration, strength, and guidance. The School of Hard Knocks has an annex library and it contains the Hip Hop canon. Throughout my life, hip hop at it's finest has given me a glimpse into the very order of the universe, as I've searched for meaning in my existence in general, headphones firmly in place, head bobbin. Just go on and listen to the Rza's opening verse on "Impossible" if you want a literal example of how mind blowing raw hip hop lyricism can be, how it can expand your consciousness with one single phrase or idea. I once even suggested that we don't need to go to college we just need to study The Wu, Tupac, and Nas (honorary mention to Mos Def and Outkast) for street knowledge and basic blueprints for life. Furthermore, I have two words, College. Dropout. Kanye at his most vulnerable; that is until the gorgeous Runaway which accompanied the masterpiece My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. Ye's debut was brilliant in the sheer boldness of the concept it presented us- man, FUCK higher education, cause for real, LIFE is the most expensive college there is, and don't nobody give you a diploma for that shit.
Most recently, for those seeking edification but lacking funds and therefore studies hip hop texts, Jay Z gifted us the opus that is 4:44. "The Story of O.J" in particular, if used as a financial playbook, is about the equivalent of at least a couple semesters of Economics at any college. I'll just share one concise quote from the album's opening track to further illustrate my point that we don't even need to get ourselves into lifelong student loan debt anymore, just listen to some rap.
"I'm tryin to give you a million dollars worth of game for $9.99."
Say no more Jay, we GOT you.
On a side note: When I heard that joint, I immediately declared, the war is over, Jay won. Nas is NOT coming back from this one!!!! I was so tight at Nas for letting me down like that, Summer Jam was a long time ago, but Hov sure never forgot. I know when to throw up the white flag though. Jay's Nastradamus stab "that's a hot album every ten year average" rang in my ears, the insult crushing my soul like Ether in that moment cause damnit! Jigga was correct.
A lifelong fan of rap, I never thought I could actually flow or put words together like my idols. I was happy to listen and recite. One of my favorite rappers once told me though, "Rhyming is contagious". He was absolutely correct. One day he himself was the one to break my heart so badly that the only cure was to let it out in lyrics. I started writing to soothe my soul in 2016 and I haven't stopped. I wrote the two original, unedited verses below in a guttural response to losing my respect for Nas, please enjoy.
Written June 20, 2018 11:11 am
I'm like Hey Nas the rap game name ain't Elvi
It gonna take more than just quaaludes to make us love you again
To rap like you god son again
When he gonna find his inner peace
Realize he ain't a martyr like the Jesus piece
Swinging from your bowed neck
Can't seem to look at anything anymore
Just the Timbs on your feet
Mary Jane and street dreams cracked Philly guts all over the street
My g you know what you did to Kelis
Can't seem to find no explanations for us from your was genius certified domepiece
They think you're gross no longer panty dropping so nasty they pulling out the hazmat suit
I'm pulling out the ten foot pole
Used to be the one in XIIAM clocking you
Now I'm just hoping you don't rewrite hystry keep it real with me
I'll be waiting for the message for 2018
J.S.
Then when his lame ass finally responded (9 months later) on IG on some foolishness I lost my shit again and wrote this one.
Written September 16, 2018 2:58 pm
In '96 you inspired me with black girl lost
Now twenty years later you just a black god lost
Icon shattered
No Vaseline no varnish no gloss
You been closing out shows with bye baby
For years thought you was heartbroken forlorn not just a lying lost cause
I'm fitting to drag you through the mud
What type of NDA you got nicki to sign cuz?
You get blackout drunk lay hands
Upper echelon
Not fittin to blow up on world starr
Kelis news pushed my wig back like safaree hairline son
The Chun Li bitch blew him up but not you
Shit is highly suspect son
J.S
 |
| J. Cole being quoted stating facts. |
Before I go any further, I must stress how important hip hop is to my life; how a once shunned and marginalized art now shapes society as a whole, it's culture and economics, at home and worldwide. I believe hip hop will continue to foment healthy cultural exchange and political expression worldwide for decades to come, even as it changes form, from N.W.A to Kendrick. It will be one of the mediums used to build a future that has a truly inclusive society. We cannot have the prophets not practice what they preach, when they claim to kick KNOWLEDGE because it will undermine the movement and it's scions.
Every other day we have rappers (dead or alive) exposed for their real life misogyny along with various other types of shitty, inexcusable behavior. To hear Lil' Kim earlier this year so breezily confirm the tale of Biggie coming after her with a gun in a jealous rage is not fucking cool, but he's no longer with us so we have to leave her to choose to preserve his Big Poppa legacy untarnished, I chose not to judge her, but the way she brushed it off, it truly gave me pause. Big Pun's wife, same. The ones we hail as great, turns out in private, pistol whipping ain't a thing. Kelis was incredibly brave to blow up the spot. You can't change the past but at least own it. Nas is still very alive and able to make reparations both financial and emotional. Don't continue to lie after you get put on blast. Don't wait SIX months to reply with lies and claiming nearly zero accountability, shamelessly shading Kelis like a sad little abusive behind the scenes bitch.
Ultimately this is why I'm so angry at The Don, why I feel he truly played himself with his behavior. It's the equivalent to Tupac going to jail for alleged rape but yet he gave us Keep Ya Head Up, it seemed incongruous then and still doesn't make sense now. Realize real lies though, am I right?? In the same vein, you can't give me "Black Girl Lost", "Daughters", "Hero", "I Can"!!! to choose just a few, have me building on your wisdom, and then BAM! it was all a lie. You write it then you live it? Nah Nas, you just wrote it down, and then shitted on it. Nas as an artist always made me feel so hopeful and safe. I never really took into account his personal life, especially his drama with Kelis, the music is just too fire and classic, I've listened to him on a regular basis for over 20 years, I own all of his albums, even Nastradamus, and some of them twice, hard copy and and digital versions. I have lived and breathed Nas for 22 of my 38 years on this earth. To have my icon knocked off his pedestal so abruptly and tragically- I mean domestic violence Nas??? YOU dog? It has taken me months to recover and even listen to his music again, cause I can't cosign his front of enlightened tragic figure, preaching math and all that shit when you are not even a parent to your son. But yet you pose with your father for a Gap ad, making us all praise you for being such a shining example of family and carrying on tradition.
These rappers are sometimes parental and educational substitutes for us. We look to their rhymes for inspiration, strength, and guidance. The School of Hard Knocks has an annex library and it contains the Hip Hop canon. Throughout my life, hip hop at it's finest has given me a glimpse into the very order of the universe, as I've searched for meaning in my existence in general, headphones firmly in place, head bobbin. Just go on and listen to the Rza's opening verse on "Impossible" if you want a literal example of how mind blowing raw hip hop lyricism can be, how it can expand your consciousness with one single phrase or idea. I once even suggested that we don't need to go to college we just need to study The Wu, Tupac, and Nas (honorary mention to Mos Def and Outkast) for street knowledge and basic blueprints for life. Furthermore, I have two words, College. Dropout. Kanye at his most vulnerable; that is until the gorgeous Runaway which accompanied the masterpiece My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. Ye's debut was brilliant in the sheer boldness of the concept it presented us- man, FUCK higher education, cause for real, LIFE is the most expensive college there is, and don't nobody give you a diploma for that shit.
 |
| "The Story of O.J" fan art |
"I'm tryin to give you a million dollars worth of game for $9.99."
Say no more Jay, we GOT you.
On a side note: When I heard that joint, I immediately declared, the war is over, Jay won. Nas is NOT coming back from this one!!!! I was so tight at Nas for letting me down like that, Summer Jam was a long time ago, but Hov sure never forgot. I know when to throw up the white flag though. Jay's Nastradamus stab "that's a hot album every ten year average" rang in my ears, the insult crushing my soul like Ether in that moment cause damnit! Jigga was correct.
A lifelong fan of rap, I never thought I could actually flow or put words together like my idols. I was happy to listen and recite. One of my favorite rappers once told me though, "Rhyming is contagious". He was absolutely correct. One day he himself was the one to break my heart so badly that the only cure was to let it out in lyrics. I started writing to soothe my soul in 2016 and I haven't stopped. I wrote the two original, unedited verses below in a guttural response to losing my respect for Nas, please enjoy.
 |
| Nas is FUCKIN UPPP. |
I'm like Hey Nas the rap game name ain't Elvi
It gonna take more than just quaaludes to make us love you again
To rap like you god son again
When he gonna find his inner peace
Realize he ain't a martyr like the Jesus piece
Swinging from your bowed neck
Can't seem to look at anything anymore
Just the Timbs on your feet
Mary Jane and street dreams cracked Philly guts all over the street
My g you know what you did to Kelis
Can't seem to find no explanations for us from your was genius certified domepiece
They think you're gross no longer panty dropping so nasty they pulling out the hazmat suit
I'm pulling out the ten foot pole
Used to be the one in XIIAM clocking you
Now I'm just hoping you don't rewrite hystry keep it real with me
I'll be waiting for the message for 2018
J.S.
Then when his lame ass finally responded (9 months later) on IG on some foolishness I lost my shit again and wrote this one.
 |
| Barbz wasn't hearing none of THAT noise |
Written September 16, 2018 2:58 pm
In '96 you inspired me with black girl lost
Now twenty years later you just a black god lost
Icon shattered
No Vaseline no varnish no gloss
You been closing out shows with bye baby
For years thought you was heartbroken forlorn not just a lying lost cause
I'm fitting to drag you through the mud
What type of NDA you got nicki to sign cuz?
You get blackout drunk lay hands
Upper echelon
Not fittin to blow up on world starr
Kelis news pushed my wig back like safaree hairline son
The Chun Li bitch blew him up but not you
Shit is highly suspect son
J.S
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