Uncomfortable Silence
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| The author in Soho, NYC January 1, 2017 |
Written January 5, 2017 at 3:12 pm
Steady sexin
Flexin
Neck up hood out I'm a cobra
Mad skills up in the booth sim simma
The heads is high up in the truck I'm in the front
Like Pass me the keys to my Beemer
90s shit fly shit
Bronx girl up in the Upper West side used to drink Zimas
Remember my first sips tasting the sin
Smiling heavy hell YEAH feeling like I'm sinning tongue fizzling
Throat burning like wtf is THIS??
Back then had no keys
Except for my latchkeys kid
Straight definition of it
Now I stay behind the back door peeping looking both ways
before I come out and shit
My house almost burned down once when I was a kid
Now I think about it I should've just run
Let that hell hole burn down so I could be free of it
Evaporate the blood still stuck on the walls
Jesus got one drop on his eye eternally nailed to the cross
I'm thinking I'm a martyr like him
so much suffering
Lately realizing it's been coming from the inside for so many years kid
Now I'm lit- ready to run
Run away from my problems even my kid
(Uncomfortable silence)
Tick tick tock it's a silence
Uncomfortable silence
It's all come to a close now we just float
Surviving in the midst of this
uncomfortable silence
I look in the mirror spit my truth
But there's still this uncomfortable silence
Like in the passive aggressive silent
model homes
It's an uncomfortable silence
When I can't look my momma in the eye
Narcissistic upbringing she barely ever acted like I was alive
Now I'm grown can't look over at her
Now it's just an uncomfortable silence
You left behind a life of stale hearts fake friends false starts
Now it's just an
Uncomfortable silence
And I sit here crying
I thought you knew it was all unconditional love that I gave you
It's a lit game that unconditional
You unconditionally unequivocally irrevocably left the ball in the other court
turned and kissed both cheeks said goodbye dropped both hands son
I need them to count my bands
Dignity only dropped temporarily I picked it up like you a bleep on the scan
My side eye stay crooked my lasik op gonna cost a hunnid grand
Now the grill shine off the vampire tooth
Sunshine spills but I ain't turning into dust just percolating morning schemes
mad steam hot up in my kitchen- I stay cool
Sippin on this Bitches Brew
It's black it's hot it's fire
Like my spirit animal
Staring out the window like it my rear view
Now it's just me plus without you
And there's no
Uncomfortable silence.
J.S.
Uncomfortable silence
It's all come to a close now we just float
Surviving in the midst of this
uncomfortable silence
I look in the mirror spit my truth
But there's still this uncomfortable silence
Like in the passive aggressive silent
model homes
It's an uncomfortable silence
When I can't look my momma in the eye
Narcissistic upbringing she barely ever acted like I was alive
Now I'm grown can't look over at her
Now it's just an uncomfortable silence
You left behind a life of stale hearts fake friends false starts
Now it's just an
Uncomfortable silence
And I sit here crying
I thought you knew it was all unconditional love that I gave you
It's a lit game that unconditional
You unconditionally unequivocally irrevocably left the ball in the other court
turned and kissed both cheeks said goodbye dropped both hands son
I need them to count my bands
Dignity only dropped temporarily I picked it up like you a bleep on the scan
My side eye stay crooked my lasik op gonna cost a hunnid grand
Now the grill shine off the vampire tooth
Sunshine spills but I ain't turning into dust just percolating morning schemes
mad steam hot up in my kitchen- I stay cool
Sippin on this Bitches Brew
It's black it's hot it's fire
Like my spirit animal
Staring out the window like it my rear view
Now it's just me plus without you
And there's no
Uncomfortable silence.
J.S.
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